


Primitive Couplings and Edible Gold

by Victorygin



Category: Guardians of the Galaxy (Movies)
Genre: Bad Pick-Up Lines, Blow Jobs, Cunnilingus, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Humor, Object Penetration, Oral Sex, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Sex, Sex Toys, Sexual Content, Sexual Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-28
Updated: 2017-05-28
Packaged: 2018-11-05 23:48:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,821
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11024139
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Victorygin/pseuds/Victorygin
Summary: Keelien never understood why Ravagers were so driven by sex, violence and cash, but with Yondu's help she can at least find out about the first bit





	Primitive Couplings and Edible Gold

**Author's Note:**

> This was proofread and beta'd by Groovymarlin

The Eclector was almost completely silent, the engines that usually hummed Keelien to sleep at night were given a brief rest as Yondu and his men decided to enjoy a bit of ship leave. The Sovereign sneered at the thought, the gold tint of her cheeks darkening slightly as she blushed despite herself.

Keelien had been with the Ravagers quite some time now, and as much as she knew she should be thankful for them accepting her as one of their own, she couldn’t help but be revolted by their crass nature. It was as if their entire lives revolved around money, sex, and violence. But even as she thought these things, she knew she was a hypocrite.

Keelien was an exile from her own planet, having failed to live up to her purpose. Rather than accept execution for what she considered such a miniscule mistake, something had possessed Keelien to escape, and rather than admit a mistake of their own, any witnesses who saw her turned a blind eye, and the entire event was kept a secret from the Golden High Priestess. The Sovereign couldn’t help but wonder how many others had managed to get away from punishment in a similar fashion.

Yondu and she had met in the bar of some back water planet, laughing at her lack of alcohol tolerance all while insisting that she keep drinking. At the time, Keelien just wanted to be left the hell alone. But he had a way of making her laugh and forget her troubles. It was only after Yondu learned that she had bargained her way out of paying for half her drinks did he offer her a place in his ship as negotiator. Keelien had been far too drunk to refuse, and woke up with the first and worst hangover of her life.

After her first negotiation to get them four times the credits from a job, the other Ravagers began to see her as more than just a walking set of golden tits, but Yondu never stopped playfully flirting with her.

“Hey Sunshine, I’d love to wake up to you after a late night sometime.”

“You know I heard on Terra they got this edible gold stuff…are you edible too?

Keelien groaned remembering all the other cheesy one liners he’d make—to think they actually worked once! Her cheeks darkened further at the memory. It had been one of her more…enjoyable mistakes.

As if on cue, she could hear the Ravagers hooting and hollering, women laughing and cheering with them. Did they not see how dangerous it was to bring outsiders onto the ship? What if one of their nightly companions was a spy, or an undercover enforcer?

She rolled her eyes at their stupidity, but joined the crowd, swiping a bottle from one of the men who was already drinking from a more organic and hairy source. The party was quickly turning into an orgy of limbs, claws, tails, and in some cases, tentacles. But Keelien was more interested in hunting down the captain to ask what could have possibly happened to warrant such a scene.

Yondu was already in his quarters, packing something away in a chest at the end of his bed when she walked in.

“We did it, Sunshine,” he winked, turning on her with a toothy grin. “Fifty thousand credits and it’s all thanks to you.”

“Is _that_ why the men are celebrating?” Keelien did her best to smile despite her security concerns, holding up the stolen drink.

He clinked his bottle to hers, looking slightly flushed, but otherwise nowhere near as intoxicated as the rest of the crew. They sat on his bed and talked for a bit, planning new routes for the next job. As they spoke, Yondu wasn’t absently drawing patterns in the air with his otherwise deadly weapon as he usually did. Oddly enough, it was nowhere to be seen.

She had always admired the deadly precision, but also, that his opponents never had to suffer the shame of defeat for long before they died. Since the only form of punishment on her planet was death, higher crimes were given a longer time to stew in one’s failure before the end.

 The next job was an escort mission, which meant slower, more careful routes. The crew would be more than restless without a break like this one.

“They can keep it in their pants till our next shore leave,” Yondu insisted, letting out a barking laugh when a particularly high squeal emanated from down the hall. The worst thing about the ship by far was its echo. Yondu once said you could take a shit on one end of the ship and everyone on the other end would know.

“And what about you? I don’t mean to be crass Udonta, but you haven’t gotten any since, well…” Keelien realized what she was saying and took another large gulp from her drink.

“Can’t say I haven’t had the urge, Sunshine, but what can I say…some things are just a little dull after you’ve tried gold.”

She coughed her drink, trying not to laugh at this new line, somehow even worse than the last. But…like she said before: It had not been a mistake she regrets.

“What’s stopping you now?” she asked, only a little teasing. Maybe it was the alcohol, but she was remembering the merits of their primitive coupling.

There was a slight pause before a grin spread over Yondu’s face, setting his drink down. “Nothing, I guess,” and he was on her.

Keelien gasped, spilling her own bottle everywhere when he pounced, but Yondu only sucked at the fabric of her top, growling as he lapped up the spilled alcohol and pulling up her shirt. Gold and blue writhed on the bed, and she couldn’t stop the desperate whimper that escaped her throat, his scarred body working wonders against her flesh so sensitive and starved for touch. His uneven teeth scraped at her neck, trying to leave a mark, even though he knew no such blemish would appear on skin as thick as hers. His mouth dipped south, kissing, biting, and tasting the sweat off her skin.

Sovereigns of either gender no longer grew hair below their necks—the byproduct of a genetic modification from decades ago. Yondu never minded a bit of bush, but he certainly didn’t mind this, either.

“Mmm, edible gold…” he growled, lapping at her folds and sucking insistently at her throbbing clit.

“Yondu, must you say such…Ah!” she sighed, grabbing at the sheets and losing her train of thought as he continued to worship her skin, making the most obscene slurping noises as he went down on her.

Keelien was just reaching her end when he stopped, coming up for breath with a smirk. She opened her eyes to suddenly find him straddling her chest with his cock inches from her face.

“Alright Sunshine, my turn.”

Making a face, Keelien said, “First of all, I didn’t even get off, so I don’t see how this is fair, and do you really expect me to take that thing in my mouth?”

He only chuckled leaning closer to kiss her before whispering, “Oh I think we can come to some sort of compromise…”

Yondu whistled then, and behind him, Keelien could see something come into view. It…was a floating dildo. She couldn’t believe her eyes, trying not to laugh. “And here I thought you were not as completely brain-addled as your crew,” she said, still unable to believe the sight before her.

The smile dropped slightly from his face. “Come on now, this cost quite a few credits. Of the money _you_ got for me, I might add. The least you could do is give it a try.”

“The least _I_ could do is nothing at all,” she reminded him straightforwardly.

“Tell you what…try it for a bit, then we’ll see how you feel about licking my lollipop.”

“Did you learn that expression from Terra?” she asked, but spread her legs expectantly anyway.

Yondu’s smile was back, watching her intently as he began to whistle. She could feel the fake appendage stroke her folds, coating itself with her juices. The mystery of not being able to see what was touching her was oddly arousing, but Keelien would never admit that to her lover’s face. At least not yet. Finally the toy slid into her slowly, pumping in and out and testing different angles as Yondu watched the flush spread down her body. He brought his hand to her cheek, stroking the warm skin.

“Beautiful…” He traced her lips with his thumb, and Keelien sucked it into her mouth, circling the digit with her tongue before giving the tip a small bite.

Yondu was clearly affected too, increasing the pitch of his whistle and suddenly the dildo was snapping into her. Keelien whimpered, she couldn’t do more than writhe against the pressure of his body on hers. Drooling slightly, she shook her head and looking at him leadingly.

He laughed that barking laugh again, “Alright, alright…if you insist.” And his cock was filling her mouth just as the dildo was pushed to the hilt inside her shuddering pussy.

Keelien’s eyes rolled back, nails digging into his thighs as her entire body was possessed by the man above her. Every movement he made had her moaning and in turn sucking more urgently on his pulsing cock. Eyes hooded but still watching her lustfully, Yondu leaned back to circle her clit with his thumb, the other hand pinching and squeezing her tits.

“Damn fucking perfect,” he groaned.

“Smph tmhng nphd fnk mph!” Keelien tried to say, around his cock.

“I know Gorgeous, just lemme tell ya you’re beautiful while I have the chance to.” He smirked before adding a vibrato to his whistle and the dildo began vibrating almost violently inside her.

Keelien’s entire body went taut like a bow and with a choked grunt, Yondu pulled out, covering her breasts with his seed. Gasping for breath, Keelien looked down at her chest.

“What, did you expect it to be blue, Sunshine?”

Feeling oddly playful, she swiped some of the sticky substance with two fingers, watching his jaw go slack at the erotic sight as she slowly licked it up.

“Maybe, but I certainly didn’t expect it to taste this good.”

He whistled, forgetting the toy was still inside of her and Keelien mewled, still sensitive. Settling beside her, Yondu captured her lips, tasting himself there and hummed contentedly before gently pulling the toy out of her.

“We might just have to make this a regular thing…that is, if you can stand such _primitive_ _couplings,_ ” he teased.

Batting his chest, she huffed “If I cared so deeply for the ways of my planet, I would have accepted my execution…but, yes…I think I would like more of this.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> Please leave a comment if you liked it 
> 
> you can find me at: http://victoryygin.tumblr.com/


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